Page 2

     Kevin nodded.  "Okay."  The way she looked at him, he felt certain he'd have nightmares.  He had to lighten the mood, so he cracked a little joke.  "You act like you're a vampire or something."

     She stared at him.  "What did you say?"

     He backed up a step, then shook his head and smiled.  "You had me going for a second."

     She smiled, too and looked almost relieved.  "You're pretty gullible, Kevin.  Vampire indeed."

     "You don't have fangs," he said and laughed.  "Plus, I talked to you this morning on the phone and if you were a vampire, you'd have been tucked away in your coffin."

     "No coffins here," she said with a sweeping gesture that took in the entire apartment.

     "Yeah.  Uh ... I'd better go."

     Amazingly enough, Virginia accepted a second date with him the next night.  Maybe no one was calling her about her ad.  Maybe she just liked him.  Kevin wasn't sure.  On the drive over, the radio announcer recapped the big news story of the day:  five gang members had been slain--one of them drained of blood.  The crime took place only a few blocks from Virginia's apartment.  He made a mental note to tell her to be careful.

     She wasn't ready when he knocked on her door.  "Come on in," she said.  "I'll finish getting dressed."

     He waited in the living room.  There were no magazines to look at except a copy of the Singles Preview where he'd seen Virginia's personal.  It still bugged him to stoop to a singles mag to get a date.

     Someone knocked on Virginia's door.

     "Could you answer that?" Virginia called.

     "Sure," Kevin said, hoping she hadn't accepted a date with someone else.  That could prove awkward.

     He opened the door and his jaw dropped.

     Elvis Presley stood in the doorway, a smirk on his face.

     Kevin stared at him a moment--took in the wide girth, the sequined jumpsuit, the trademark sideburns.  "Elvis?"

     "Uh-huh-huh," Elvis said.

     Kevin blinked, stepped back.  What should he say?

     A man wearing a snakeskin jacket, Tony Llama boots, faded blue jeans and a big white Stetson squeezed in front of Elvis.  "Howdy," he said.  "Ginny around?"

     "Who are you?" Kevin asked.

     "Name's Jake.  The big guy's name is Bob."  Jake leaned forward.  "He wants to be an Elvis impersonator, but we don't hold it against him none."

     Kevin turned.  "Virginia, could you come out here, please?"

     Virginia stepped out of the bathroom.  "Oh my god," she said.  "Jake and Bob!"

     "Howdy, ma'am.  Ol' Nate wants you to come on back to the big city."

     "Kevin, get rid of them!"

     "Me?"  Kevin backed toward her.  "What's going on here?" he asked.

     "Ginny, this skinny little runt ain't gonna be able to protect you.  Come peaceable like and no one gets hurt."

     "Uh-huh-huh," Bob said and smiled revealing fangs.  He looked at Virginia and sang to the tune of "Hound Dog":

     I ain't nothin' but a vampire

     And you could be my wife

     I ain't nothin' but a vampire

     And you could be my wife

     But if you try and run

     I'll put an end to your life.

     Virginia grabbed Kevin.  "Meet me at your car," she whispered.  Then she shoved him toward the two vampires and slammed the bathroom door.

MORE>>