Yes, the background's a dead giveaway. ;-)

Yes, I'm ready to spill the beans on my Mystery Venture. I got a call today telling me that I passed the big hurdle, so I figure I'm ready to share it with y'all now.

I've applied to the St. Tammany Parish Sheriff's Department to become a reserve deputy. The Academy starts in July. I've spent the last month going through applications, interviews, background checks, and this Friday I'll take a psychological test, and then I'm on my way. Yep, Diana's going to become a cop. I didn't want to say anything before, on the off chance that I somehow didn't make it in, especially since this is something I really want. But I am so ready to do something useful and helpful.

So, of course, that's why I've been doing so much shooting, and that's why I've been working out so hard and doing so much more running. I'm feeling really good about my shooting; from comments made by other deputies at the range, I don't think I'll have any trouble qualifying. Of course I want to do more than just pass--I want to be at the top of my class. ;-) And, surprisingly, there are no fitness requirements for the Sheriff's department, but my attitude is that if I'm going to be on criminal patrol (which is what I really want to do) I want to be in the best shape possible.

And the "big hurdle" was the background check. When I went in for my appointment with Internal Affairs two weeks ago, I was asked nearly a dozen times if I'd ever been arrested--so much that I began to wonder if maybe I had and forgotten somehow. ;-) But, I've led an annoyingly squeaky clean life, so I really wasn't worried about that. Closest I've come is bailing a friend out of jail. The only subject that came up that seemed to have the IAD people concerned was the fact that I work for a casino. If it had been a Louisiana casino that would have been that, and I wouldn't have been able to join up since there could conceivably been some sort of conflict. (Don't ask me to explain; I'm still not sure what conflict there would be. Something about jurisdiction of Commissions or something.) But since I work in a Mississippi casino and any commission I earn in St. Tammny wouldn't mean diddly-squat over there, I'm okay. (Though when they called my boss at work to check my references, she told me they asked her four or five times if there would be any problem or conflict with me being in the Sheriff's Department. She, of course, told them No. Thank goodness.)

Friday afternoon I get to go be psychologically evaluated. I've been told that there's a 500 question test. Or rather, it's seven questions, asked 500 times. This is supposedly meant to weed out people who are high-stress.

I was also told that I'd have to draw three pictures: a house, a tree, and myself. I'm thinking that if I draw myself with big fangs and claws with blood dripping from my hands, I probably won't get in.

So, anyway, that's it. That's the Big Secret. This is where you all get to say, "That's it? Pfffttthh! Big deal."