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Page 3

The next night, she stayed at her parents' house.  She needed sleep and the neighbors were having a party that showed no signs of ending.

     "You're always welcome here, Karen."  Mrs. Stevens reached out for Sarah.  "Here, I'll take her for you."

     "Thanks, Mom," Karen said, not wanting to let the baby go, "I've got her."

     "I don't mind," Mrs. Stevens said, arms still outstretched.

     "I said I've got her."

     Mrs. Stevens nodded and folded her empty arms across her chest.  "Your father's on the night shift again this week."

     "That's good, I wanted to spend some time alone with you. Just talking like we used to."  Karen took Sarah upstairs and put her to bed.  She hooked up the monitor and went back down to the living room.

     Karen and her mother talked for hours.  It felt like old times.  She felt silly about not letting her mother take Sarah. Here in this house she and Sarah were loved.  They were safe. Through all their disagreements, the sense of family and belonging remained.

     That night, there was no voice.  Karen lay in bed in her childhood room wrapped in the quilt her mother had sewn from scraps of material.  Sarah cried for awhile, but Mrs. Stevens took care of her.  Karen got a good night's sleep and felt ready to deal with the world.

#

     The following morning, she ate breakfast with her parents. "Thanks for taking care of Sarah last night, Mom."

     "You're welcome.  She was a bit fussy."

     "Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with her."

     "She needs a father," Mr. Stevens said.

     Karen looked at him, but didn't respond.

     "Have you given any thought to what we talked about?" he asked.

     Karen nodded.  A few nights ago, she and her father had discussed what she was going to do with her life.  Karen didn't appreciate her father's attitude toward her.  "I want to go to college," she said.

     Her father stopped buttering his biscuit.  "You should have thought of that before."

     Karen moved her food about on her plate with a fork.  "I'm thinking of it now, Dad."

     "You have responsibilities, young lady.  You brought a baby into this world and you have to raise her yourself."

     "Ben," Mrs. Stevens said, but he shot her a look and she stared at her plate.

     Karen almost cried.

     Her father shook his head.  "You know I love you, but you have to understand that we won't always be here.  You need to be independent."

       Karen looked her father in the eyes.  "I can take care of her and still go to school."

     "Is that so?" he said staring her down.  "And how will you pay your rent?  Where will you get money for tuition and books?  Not to mention food and diapers."

     "I just want to be with friends," Karen said.  "I never see anyone anymore."

     "What about Martin?" Mr. Stevens said and finished buttering his biscuit.

     "Mark!" Karen shouted.  "His name is Mark.  And I can't stand to be with him.  He reminds me of you."  She threw her napkin on her unfinished bacon and eggs, stood and walked away.

     She ran upstairs and grabbed Sarah, who started crying.  "Be quiet, Sarah," she whispered as she began stuffing things into the baby bag with one hand.  She picked up the bag and ran downstairs, but her mother was waiting by the door.

     Mrs. Stevens caught her arm.  "You have to forgive your father," she said.

     "I don't have to forgive anything,"  Karen said shrugging off her mother's hand.

     "At least try and understand."

     "Oh, I understand him all right.  He won't help me when I need it most."  She set the bag down and rocked Sarah, who kept crying. "Sarah, please."

     "Here, I'll take her."

     "No."  Karen rocked Sarah and picked up her train of thought. "Look, I made a mistake.  I can live with it, but I could use some support, you know."

     "I know."  Mrs. Stevens reached out for Sarah and Karen gave her up.  As soon as Mrs. Stevens cuddled her, Sarah quit crying. "He does love you."

     "Yeah right," Karen said.

     "He does."

     "Okay, okay.  I just ... I want to make a life for Sarah.  I want her to have everything I had and more, but it's hard to do it alone.  I can't give her the life she deserves without an education to get a decent paying job.  Hell, I can't even get her to stop crying."  Karen walked over and collapsed into an easy chair.

     "Baby's cry, Karen.  It's normal."

     "She's not crying now."

     "She's asleep."

     Karen put her hands over her face and sighed.  Her mother was so good with Sarah.  Karen wished she had her mother's knack.

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