The Atenveldt Invasion

Words by Ioseph of Locksley
To the tune of "Young Folks, Old Folks"

Chorus:
     Young folks, old folks, every man and each
     Come see the Atenveldter, landed on the beach.
     He's not wearing any clothes, and covered all with hair,
     And worse than that, he isn't wearing any underwear.

Once upon a time, in a Kingdom far away, 
A ship was wrecked in Calafia's bay; 
It sank right down, men and mast and sail, 
And only the ship's monkey lived to tell the tale.

The monkey came ashore and wandered all around, 
Wandered through the valleys, wandered through the town; 
Then it came to a revel hall more dead than alive, 
And the Caidans thought an invasion had arrived.

Chorus

The crowd screamed and scrambled,caught by surprise,
Climbing the curtains, putting pillows o'er their eyes.
Cried a willowy Laurel, with a cry that was heart-felt:
"He's big and strong and hairy, he must be from Atenveldt."

"He's not wearing any clothes, whatever can it mean?"
"It's the rudest thing that I have ever seen." 
A Duchess said to the Kingdom Castellan,
"You can tell he's not Caidan: No Elizabeth-i-ans." (Humpf!)

Chorus

The whole crowd was terrified, petrified with fear, 
That the Atenveldt invasion finally was here.
"God help the Kingdom!" "Save us from this fate!"
"Run away and hide ourselves before it is too late!"

The monkey saw the revel feast and jumped for the food, 
With no table manners; he was really rather rude.
The crowd gasped with horror at the awful sight: 
"He eats with both hands! He's an Atenveldter Knight."

Chorus

The monkey ambled 'round, all tired, stiff and sore;
All the Caidans scrambled for the door.
The politics got heavy and the rumor spread around, 
"The Atenveldter's gonna be a-fighting for the Crown."

But then the revel hall got quiet as could be,
When up cried the Seneshal, "Can't you plainly see?
"Hide your wives and daughters and prepare for fire and sword,
"It's not an Atenveldter, it's a member of the Horde!" (Eek!)

Chorus (twice)


On Serious Steel CD by Leslie Fish and Joe Bethancourt, 1995